🎬 Page 5 - Work in progress

Here is the thumbnail:


Please help with the translation.

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I find it good. Although, it would be better if you post the dialogues straight here or on the word file would be easy to tweak the words.

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Here it is:

(Concerning this old schmock, the matter will be settled tonight.)

(But it’s weird that he continues to work for Bennett despite my threatening letters…)

(An honest petty bourgeois like him, with a comfortable income…)

So, Miss Jeanne, did we have a good time?

Like crazy, Mrs. Gaudin!

Look, I brought this for you.

Oh, the pretty cup, you shouldn’t!

Good night Miss Jeanne!

(Bennett must control him somehow… But how? Blackmail?)

(Yet I have been watching him for two months and I have not seen anything compromising… And I can hardly imagine the old Hausendorf keeping a mistress!)

(Anyway, it’s time to show him that I’m not kidding!)

(It’s not dark enough, I’ll have to hang in there. I should have stayed a little longer at the fair.)

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What’s schmock?
Like crazy, Mrs. Gaudin! (It was a fantastic day. I enjoyed it a lot, Mrs. Gaudin.)
Oh, the pretty cup, you shouldn’t! (Oh, my! It’s so pretty. But you don’t have to go that far.)
The sentence in brackets are alternatives. If you want you can use them.

(Yet, I have been watching him for two months and I haven’t seen anything compromising… I can hardly imagine the old Hausendorf keeping a mistress!) (It’s edited)

Thanks @soare

What’s schmock?

I found this somewhere, but if you don’t understand it, it must be changed. What about “old schmuck”? Or “old putz”?

It was a fantastic day. I enjoyed it a lot, Mrs. Gaudin.

That sounds a little bit formal. Anything more slangish?

Oh, my! It’s so pretty

Ok, deal!

But you don’t have to go that far.

That sounds a bit formal too. Aren’t there anything short and popular for “It’s too much, you shouldn’t have gotten into such trouble for me!”?

Yet, I have been watching him for two months and I haven’t seen anything compromising… I can hardly imagine the old Hausendorf keeping a mistress!

Ok, will change this also.

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You’re welcome!
Yeah, old putz sounds good.

Hmm, I think, Exciting and super fun!

It was a fantastic day. I enjoyed it a lot, Mrs. Gaudin.

That sounds a bit formal too. Aren’t there anything short and popular for “It’s too much, you shouldn’t have gotten into such trouble for me!”?

I have to search for that. How about- “You took a lot of trouble for me.”

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I found a discussion about here. They seem to agree “You really shouldn’t have” is the way to go. What do you think @soare ?

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Here is the pencil, with @soare’s texts:

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Yes, that sounds good. It’s short and perfect.

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